Saturday, 26 December 2009

Just a thought...

I have an exam in 17 days.

AS level biology.

I am going to fail.

Well maybe I won't fail.

I just won't pass well.


Merry Christmas one and all :)

Santa was kind to me this year, as was my grandma and uncles and mum and sister :)

I get alternative christmas on the 27th, wih dad and all the rest which should be good. I need a new LED torch...

The pain's been very bad these few days. This morning I had to lie in bed for about 40 minutes until i could attempt getting up.
Mum appears to be more aware of the whole thing, which i've only noticed in the past few days... since i restarted this blog. Which is good. I'm very pleased about that, maybe it means she'll be able to help me out more in later times.

Right now, i think i may head off and do a bit of guitar hero :)

Here's to new year, coming soon :)
me and the matees are gonna head to the hippo and then back to someones house, cant remember whos :L hopeefuuully greg will be able to come... he said he wasnt sure :(

Thursday, 24 December 2009

Sitting with a pen through my ear.

Apparently expanders don't come in size 7. Who knew. So i've had to go to an 8, which means its a liiiiiiil bit too big....

The pain clinic was good :)
v nice doctor, had a clue what he was on about, kept reffering to it as my disability, and saying stuff about being disabled.
which i surprisingly don't have a problem with.
i like being able to actually justify calling it a disibility, which i can now the doctor's been saying it.

ive got some new medicated dressings to put on my back, im gonna get reffered to the hospital phisio for hydrotherapy and they can help me out with crutches, theyre gonna give me a TENs machine, and get me a consaultation with a special pain hospital in bath.

so woop :)

and yesterday was gooooooood :D i successfully caught the bus, and met all of Greg's family, (slightly odd, but theyre all lovely) and they like me so :) and spent time with greggg which was nice, then we came back and went to dinner at anna's which was luvleh :)

CRIMBO EVE is upon us. i've been sitting around cleaning allll day, hopefully lauren and harry are gonna pop round for a bit, coz harry's meeting the parents (7 weeks after they started going out may i add. 2 weeks for me and greg :L) sooo maybe i'll have some company in a bit :)

Monday, 21 December 2009


I have to get a bus to Callington.

This in itself isn't stressful, however, despite the family almost moving there at one point, i still have no idea at which point i have to press the bell, coz you have to press it a bit before you want it to stop don't you?

I'm going to Callington to see Greg. He hasn't been in town for a while (lack of funds i believe) and I have to give him his rock before christmas. Plus I miss him n all that jazz.

Also yay christmas :)

i'm concerned about my pain clinic appointment tomorrow :S coz i know how these things go. They'll think i'm perfectly able to wait another 3 months or something for help.
But i'm not.
as the doctor said "when you've had this for 2 1/2 years, a month is quite a short time" to which i replied "not when it's getting worse"
to which i still fully agree (of course i do, i said it)
and 1/2/3 months is quite a long time when i have to miss my lessons with alarming frequency, because i simply can't move.
sometimes it isnt too bad.
sometimes its dreadful.
the rest of the time its inbetween.
but its always there.

people say i'm being negative because i know it's going to be dreadful at a point in the future. thats unfair. i tell them i'm being realistic. they continue saying im being negative. its uncalled for really... as much as i hate to say it, they don;t know what its like (and that phrase makes my skin crawl, it just sounds like an excuse) and i can see how they might see it as negative. because to someone who rarely sees physical pain, saying that i'm going to be in unbearable pain for a few days soon might seem negative. however, for someone living in constant pain, its just a fact of life like sleeping or eating.

at some point in the future i will sleep, followed by eating.
at some point in the future i will be practically incapacitated by pain, followed by improvement where i can bear to walk to the co-op and back.

they're the same to me.

sorry if that's negative, but maybe you need to live it to know it.

i dont dislike people giving me advice on my problems. i dont mind people trying to help. i don't mind slight patronisation, because i know theyre trying to help.
what i do mind, is people telling me how im coping wrong, and i'm not doing it good enough, and how i should be doing it, without them even knowing what one of my good days feels like.

Sunday, 20 December 2009

The time has come.

First, I have to start with an apology.

I'm sorry this blog has been such a long time coming. Although to be perfectly honest i don't know why i'm apologising, as i doubt anyone is reading this right now, as i've blocked the one person who might have been remotely interested.

It's a long story, and one i'm not sure i want to go into fully, but bear patience, it will come at some point i'm sure. Maybe.

When i last wrote this blog, I was revising for my exams, which I got the results for in august.
2 A's and 9 B's (A's in History and Art, B's in English lit, english lang, maths, science(x2), french, italian (HA), product design and short course ICT) which i was proud of, as it has been one hell of a two years. ALthough i really don't like to complain about it, as it could be a lot worse.

The pain i'm getting has escalated. i'm on 20 tablets a day to relieve the pain, and it still stops me from walking, even with my stick. I have an appointment with the pain clinic on tuesday, who i'm hoping can give me some nice ideas, as im on the fifth medical proffesional to give up on me.

Me and my mother come to blows over this subject. She doesn't understand the pain i'm in, and that's fine. I don't expect her to. But she seems to think she does, and thinks she knows what helps more than I do, and tells me that things i'mdoing are bad for me.

As far as I see it, if no-one can tell me what it is that is wrong, then no-one can tell me what is good or bad for me.

All i've been told is to keep moving around. As much as I try, there are ultimately times where I can't do this. If i mention that I need more help, my mother ultimately agrees. As I see it, the two options are A)stronger tablets or B)better walking aids. I dont want to pour another 20 tablets down my neck every day, and she agrees with this. she also says that i "can't have crutches" as if i've just asked her for a tenner.

it makes me angry that she thinks that i want this.
it makes me angry that she thinks she knows better than me.
it upsets me that shes only saying this because "it's like a sick role".
it makes me angry that she doesn't understand that i dont care if other people see me as a sick role. but most of all,
it upsets me that she obviously does care.

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Isn't it funny

That one email can stop you from caring

Monday, 18 May 2009


At the moment, i'm doing my english revision. I'm pretty sure it's not enough, but lets face it, it never is. Ah well, i can only do my best, which unfortunately never seems good enough but what can you do.

Only 4 more exams (English, ICT, Biology, Italian) to go until my weekend. I'm going into town on Friday with Louisa Lauren and Chris for prom bras and piercings, followed by a job interview for Next at 4.50, then on Sunday I'm heading up to Cardiff avec ma famille for reemer :D:D I can't wait :)

After this weekend is half teerm, a break from exams to... revise i expect...
Well, Monday i'll still be in Cardiff, Wednesday I'll probably have an appointment with the sub-accute back clinic (sigh) and Thursday is Frances' birthday, so my schedule is free for that day just in case hehe

Hoping to get to Exeter to see Luke and maybe Ian at some point as well, coz yknow, i miss them in the absence.

Anyhoo. My mother is threatening to test me on English, so i'd better revise some more Rita. Haven't done any Mockingbird yet but i doubt i'll sleep tonight so i'll do it then.

Monday, 11 May 2009

*insert name of post here*

I am officially on study leave.
This means I have to study.

Ah well, only day 1, and i've revised biology, maths and urm... oh thats it. Oh well, time for a Kit Kat, eaten very slowly because i am not feeling too well...
But i have most definately been working hard, and now I'm gonna do a painting or a drawing or something for the front cover of my revision folder... Coz i'm that good.

Urrrm... Later I have to go to guides (I say have to, because I haven't been in about 4 weeks) and tell Mandy about the jobs i'm putting her doen as a reference for (tee hee) and talkin of that Mrs B hasn't replied... It's very weird asking teachers for things like that... it's just like "uhhh... please?" but pfft I'll probably end up working in the... shop of... crap....

For what I hear you ask?
Shoes, yearbook, school trips, clothes

Anyway, seeing as i'm off school now I may be blogging more regularly even though all my computers are being annoyiiiiiing they're just not working... So i've got my laptop uo, which works... just not very well... Anyway, now I gotta find a picture to draw with charcol...

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

It's been a while....

and I have just finished that Design brief analysis :)
In my defence, In the past week i've had a french oral exam, an italian oral exam, and a 10 hour art exam, so EXCUSE ME for not having time to analyse a design brief...

Daisy's exams:
Italian oral (god awful... seriously, she just glared at me the whole time. very un-nerving)
French oral (a lot better, i got some nice roleplays and mme burkey was very pleasant. she gave us chocolate :D)
Art (so. very. long. especially as i and most people finished within about 7 hours, so we just had 3 hours to do nothing. Although it's extremely downheartening when you look up from your project and see everyone elses is so much better...)

according to my sources, I haven't written since the beginning of easter, so I haven't had a chance to talk about luke (coming down to plymouth)

ohh we had a jolly time :) we walked around the barbican a lot (it rained very heavily) went to frankie and benny's (im not gonna go into the leg rubbing) went up a lighthouse (a lot of stairs) filmed some star trek stuff ("lewis, i would ask you to come with us, but you're just too much of a wanker.....") watched A LOT of doctor who (it made me cry :S) and went to the park ( :) )

but yeah :) it was good fun :) and it was great to see you again luke
love you

Saturday, 11 April 2009

Shocking failures

I am very sorry I didn't post yesterday, but y'know how it is... We went up to a friends house and played on the Wii and singstar, had a very nice time :)

Urrrm.... today today today... Went to town with Lauren, Amy and Izy... Then Jordan turned up, then went away... Then came back.. then went away again... Then I came home, did some revision (weeeeeew!) and got a very nice surprise of an email from my product design teacher, in that I've done quite well in this years work :)
However, re-read the email about what I have to do again for last years....

Jesus, it's a lot.

First point
Design brief analysis
and I go
I figured this must have been the thing that we did when Mr Garbage was covering... Hence I don't know what it is.

Apparently asking questions about things, so great! I can poke holes in any design. Problem is, I'm slightly wary, as it's my own. But the sheet says "this is the most important section" and I didn't do it at all, so its a shock I got this far into the course really isn't it?

Thursday, 9 April 2009

A trip to Lidl

I gots me my unicycle :)
It's pretty good if I do say so myself, and I can almost balance on it :)
I'm trying to encourage Luke to have a go next week, but hes refusing. *sigh*
My revision today has been.... Slow. I did a whole set of Italian questions (god forbid I might not get an A*) went to lidl, then to shakeaway (ohh yes) then came home. Basically my evening has been chatting to people on msn (arranged a townage trip with Milly ohh yeah :))
I dunno... My heart's not in this revision. But then again, whose is.
Buuuuuuuuuuuuut I have to do it somewhere somehow, so hmmm

My heart's not in much of anything recently... I don't know what it is...
Ah well
I won't get all deep on you
That would defeat the object of.... I dunno.

How would I be on the radio? Someone said to me the other day that I should go on hospital radio to see what I think... I'm not sure what I think... It'd be weird on my own... I'm worried I wouldn't know what to say :S
But looking at the websites, it seems it's mostly music......

I dunno, it sounds interesting but I'd have to think about it...

Oh by the way, my keyboard may not work for much longer.
I just spilled tea on it.

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Travel plans

I am planning my tomorrow.
I shall leave the house for not very long to travel down to Lidl, to pick myself up a unicycle they have on offer on....
It will "aid my recovery". Blatantly.

And I've found what I'm going to ask for on completing my exams :)
The 4 wheel roller disco ones.
I am planning on rolling into school on those next year.

Don't question the obvious genius of it.

Lateness is rewarded

I knoooooow I should've written something yesterday, but it completely slipped my mind, Plus there really was nothing to write about. Seriously, nothing happened. I did some art, got my hair cut (it was really straight. Too straight. Seriously, it clung to my head) Uuuuuuuuuuuuuurm.... Bought a hand support (which says Lonsdale on. Nice.)

To be perfectly honest, today hasn't been much more exciting so far (It's only 9.52. Why the hell am I up so early?) although I think I may actually do some revision :O

A bit later, me and Chris are going up to Horrabridge to see Louisa coz she can't come out these holidays, which should be fun, as long as Christoph doesn't try it on. Coz if he does I'll be in a corner like "aHEM??" But yeeees that should be good :) I guess I'll let you know more later. And by you, I mean Luke, because I honestly think you're the only one who reads this....

I know! I'll attach a picture!! Of what though... Hows about Me, Lauren and Chris in sunglasses???? Yeah??

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah :)

Monday, 6 April 2009

"Oh my gawd, what the hell is wrong with me NOW???"

My mother is telling me that I am going to do her new Rosemary Conely full body workout DVD in a minute.


Seriously, could you imagine a worse activity for me??
(For the people who don't know, my back's screwed up, I've hurt my hand and everything else is clicking and paining)

To be fair, she claimed that we would do this about ten minutes ago and she hasn't yet moved from her spot. Which gives me hope for the future of my health and movement.

What's happened today... I went to Lauren's house for some "italian revision" where I wrote one word before giving up (the small pen really hurt!) aaaand.... There was an earthquake in Italy where half my friends are... (they're fine)

Oh god................

Mum's standing up..... Time to run....

Sunday, 5 April 2009

The broad beans and the official start of summer

This day (Sunday) marks the official start to the summer-ish season.

I wore flip-flops.
Out of the house.
I think it's been years since I've done that actually. Because I only own one pair of flip-flops which have been too small for years, but seeing as my shoe size seems to have flatulated into a downward spiral, I can wear them again. Woop woop!

My revision is going well so far. That is, until I realised that I've probaly left my planner in school. Which contains all of my Italian oral questions that I need to write and many other very important things, so I'm slightly screwed until I get that back. *Has a thought* Actually, the questions might be in my book. *checks* Okay, so I now have no excuse not to do them. Except I really don't want to. But I really should contribute some more time to my art.

Anyway, I should really end this post soon, as it can't be helping my hand. I appear to have injured it somehow (to add to my list of complaints) and therefore gaffa-taped a bag of broad beans to it, to see if it would help. It didn't. I don't reccomend it. Hang on, I'll try and take a picture of my tubi-gripped hand...

Did I do it????

Anyway, seeing Lauren tomorrow for Italian revision which we will blatantly do, so that should be fun aaand I dunno. Some thing will be sorted out for funzies on upcoming days I hoope..... Can't wait for next week :) I haven't seen Luke for bloody aages!

Saturday, 4 April 2009


Weeell now.
In the run up to my exams (Bigg up the G to the C to the S to the Es) I have got myself one of those revision timetables.
I say got myself, because I was way too lazy to do it, so I used this wonderful website ( - some shameless advertising there) which someone in my form linked us to, where you add in all the exams you're doing, and the slots that you can't revise in, and it makes up your revision timetable for you!!
And it only took me 3 evenings to figure it out

But yeah, my revision timetable started this morning, despite me making the table one hour ago. So I've failed already basically. But I made it all, in pretty colours, and printed it out and made myself a stand for it. Because I have nothing else to do. That's right, actual revision takes a back seat when you have the opportunity to make a stand for your timetable.


I'll put a picture with a different blog, because I'd have to upload the camera especially for that one picture, and let's face it, I have too much revision to do.........

Friday, 3 April 2009

Daisy's got herself a blog :)

Chances are I'll never write in it, I'll forget it exists, either that or I'll forsake it in the run up to exams and won't update forever. And ever. And ever.

Or I'll forget my password, because it has to be 8 characters long. Now that's just annoying. My password's usually 6 characters, or 7 at a push. Never 8.

Therefore, I have a new password, that NONE OF YOU WILL EVER GUESS

And neither will I.

Oh right, for the record, I have this because Luke got one, and it looked like funzies. I have my very own blog entry on Luke's *looks proud* so Luke, here's your section

LUKETH (I'm looking for an underlining tool, but don't think there is one...)

One of my greatest friends, I love him very lots, but he's one of these people I love to much to fancy. If that makes sense. But yeah, he's always there to talk to me when I'm not feeling great, and (I hope) I sometimes help when he isn't feeling great. But in conclusion, I love him very much. What would I do without him eh? (And I'm NOT being sarcastic!)